November 4, 2001 was the last day I saw my mother. 

Sometimes its hard to think about the loss but I try to especially when I am talking to my grandmother or I happen to see my sister (since she looks like our mother when her hair is down).  On Nov, 4th I kept the yarzheit for her.  When I go to California (I am hoping next month) I will visit her grave site (at March Air Force Base) and spend some time with her - this is something I have not been able to do with any justice for a number of reasons. 

I do know in my heart that she is in peace and not suffering anymore.  As much as I hated losing her I was also profoundly happy when she died.  I knew she wouldn't need to have that catheter in her pumping those medicines into her.  I knew she would not need insulin anymore.  I knew that she would be able to walk and move without being in pain.  In the end, I know she is in a much better place, and I am happy about that even though there are times when I get depressed when I feel lonely without having a parent to talk to. 

In the end, I do love her and I do very much miss my mom.

Posted by: Robert Woolwine at 07:42 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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